


Employee of the Month

by PilDoor



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Bonding, Dead people revived to attend a wedding, Humor, M/M, Marriage, Oneshot, Romance, Shipper Sam, divine intervention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 23:36:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20590991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PilDoor/pseuds/PilDoor
Summary: Dean and Castiel are not cursed but do need to consummate their marriage. Oh, and for once Fate's not a total bitch.





	Employee of the Month

The cherub watched the hunter from above as he exited his monstrosity of a car. It was quite iconic, even amongst the angels at this point, and it made it easier to spot the hunter despite the angel-proofing sigils etched into his ribs by one Castiel. Speaking of which, the cherub had yet to locate.

For now, he followed the older of the hunters as he was dropped off at the diner in town by his brother, who drove off.

The hunter unbuttoned his suit jacket upon entering the diner and lit up with a smile when he spotted something.

Or someone, rather. The angel, the cherub was just looking for, as it turned out.

The seraph was smiling back at the hunter, the vessel’s gums showing and eyes crinkling.

He stood up when the hunter got closer, and the cherub fished the appropriate arrow out of his bag, smoothing his finger over the heart-shaped tip. 

At this proximity he might be able to get the both of them with one shot. He smiled at the thought. 

Not only was the hunter and the angel the pairing of the millennium, but now he was going to bond them on one arrow.

He placed the arrow in the bow and pulled the string back as he took aim. 

He loosened it again and dropped his jaw when the angel embraced the hunter and the hunter responded by folding his hands behind the angel’s back, squeezing slightly.

Who the hell stole his assignment?!

Not only was this his first big match - one that actually mattered for plot, and one which importance had been stressed by Fate herself at the last staff meeting - but this was also the assignment that was supposed to finally earn him a high rank. He was sick of Tinder matches that dissolved after a week - not good resume stuff.

He pulled the arrow back and secured it in his bag before throwing his bow on the ground in a fit of frustration. Not fair!

“Alright, who shot Dean and Castiel?” The cherub demanded upon returning to the cherub branch of heaven. 

A few cherubs looked up from what they were doing - playing their harps, polishing their rosy arrows, writing poetry.

“Wasn’t that your assignment?” one asked.

“Yes!” The cherub cried and stomped his foot.

One of his cherub friends teleported closer and put her arms around his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I know how excited you were,” she said.

The cherub hugged her back, sniffling.

“Do you still have their arrows?” another asked.

The cherub nodded and showed them the arrows marked _Dean_ and _Castiel_. Without the appointed arrows it was not possible to properly bond a couple. Someone else must have gotten their hands on a _Dean_ one and a _Castiel_ one as well, the cherub thought.

“Does Fate know?” someone asked.

The cherub shrugged. He had come straight here, looking for the culprit.

“You have to tell her,” the other cherub said.

The cherub nodded. He knew he had to, but he was not looking forward to Fate’s disappointed stare. Nor the lecture his manager was sure to give him.

He avoided it for as long as he could, matching a few lower level assignments as he postponed the eminent disappointment of an authority figure.

By the end of the day Fate caught up to him. Just as he was polishing the _Dean_ and _Castiel_ arrows again. It was as good an opener as any, he supposed, when he caught her frowning at the arrows in his hands.

“Are those Dean’s and Castiel’s arrows?” he asked, pointing to them with a manicured finger.

The cherub nodded, meeting her eye.

“How is that possible?” she asked. “When I just saw them consummate their match in a filthy motel room?”

“Someone else must have shot them,” the cherub said. Sometimes, when a pairing was really important, more cherubs were assigned to the same case.

“Not possible,” Fate said. “You have the only copies of those arrows.” 

“Oh,” the cherub said, suddenly confused.

Fate’s eyes grew big and she grabbed the cherub by the shoulder. “We have to find them! They could be cursed by an incubus to have sexual intercourse!”

They located the younger hunter first. He was in a motel room with only one bed, currently seated at a Formica-top table, hunched over a laptop. It looked like he was drinking straight from the coffee pot by his elbow, no mug in sight.

He looked up, shocked at their sudden appearance. His eyes went to the cherub and went south very briefly before he settled his eyes on Fate. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

The cherub remembered that humans generally had weird hang-ups about nudity, and that his kind’s usual attire - or lack thereof - was uncommon on Earth in most - but not all - social settings.

“Where’s your brother and the angel?” Fate asked, frantic.

Sam pursed his mouth, looking a little uncomfortable. “They’re in the room next-door.”

When Fate grabbed the Cherub’s arm to teleport to the next room, Sam held out a hand to signal them to stop.

“But they’re kind of busy,” he said, averting his eyes.

“This is important, Sam Winchester,” Fate said. “They could be under a curse.”

Sam got up quickly at that. “A curse?!” He took the gun that had been lying on the table and tucked it into the back of his pants. “I’m coming too!”

Together the three of them ran to the next door over, Fate’s heels clacking on the concrete.

Instead of knocking, Sam kicked the door in. The cherub was glad that he could make himself invisible to humans at will, so that he didn’t risk being held responsible for the broken door.

“Sam, what the hell?!” the older Winchester brother yelled, indignified, as he rolled off from straddling the angel’s lap.

The cherub momentarily felt like he fit in when he noted that the hunter and the angel both were naked as well. 

They were quick to cover themselves with the sheet, however, leaving the cherub the odd man out again.

“Fate says you’re cursed!” Sam yelled.

Dean looked panicked at that but Castiel looked skeptical.

“We are not cursed. There are no witch bags in this town,” the angel said.

“Then why are you consummating your pairing when you haven't been being paired yet?” Fate asked, gesturing to the two of them, naked and sweaty and tangled in damp sheets.

The younger hunter covered his mouth with his hand, to hide a smile, the cherub guessed.

“Dean and I are to be paired?” Castiel asked.

Sam guffawed.

Dean glared at him for it. “Something funny, Sam?”

Sam raised his hands in innocence. “Nope. If no one is cursed, except for me by having the room next to you two (you aren’t exactly subtle, guys), then I’ll turn in,” he said and left the room.

While Sam made his exit Dean got up from the bed, and the cherub noticed the seraph staring at the hunter’s backside as he bent down to slip on a pair of boxer shorts.

“Now what’s this about… consummating?” Dean asked, grimacing at the last word.

“We are to be bonded by the heavens,” Castiel told him.

“Bonded?” Dean asked. “What, like angel married?”

“I don’t believe you can use this for tax purposes,” Castiel said, frowning.

“You two need to be together for this storyline to progress as intended,” Fate explained.

“How romantic,” Dean said, rolling his eyes.

“Dean, we are already both romantically and sexually involved. This won’t change anything,” Castiel said.

Dean put his hands on his hips. “So I’m just supposed to get gay married by the heavens without any proposal or ceremony or anything? Sam was supposed to be best man.”

“This is not a human tradition. You can have a wedding after your own standards at a later date,” Fate said.

“Nuh uh,” Dean said. “Gay marriage isn’t legal in half the states and Castiel isn't even a registered person. We can’t just get human married. Besides, I bet this cupid crap is more legit anyway. There’s no such thing as a heavenly divorce, right?” Dean said.

Fate rolled her eyes very uncharacteristically for her, “You don’t need a ceremony for this.”

“Well, I disagree,” Dean said. “I want Bobby to be there.”

“Castiel?” Fate gave him a hopeless look.

Castiel shrugged, “I think I will ask Gabriel to come.”

He was rewarded with a bright smile from the half-naked hunter. 

Fate threw up her hands. “Fine!”

While the guests - young, old, human, extra-terrestrial, dead, alive - found their seats, Sam, who true to Dean’s word was best man, turned to the cherub.

“So how does this work? You just shoot them?” he asked, looking nervous.

Charlie, who was looking very vibrant despite being dead, glared at the cherub from behind Sam. She was best man too.

The cherub shrunk under her gaze. “It doesn’t hurt them or anything. It just opens their soul, or grace in Castiel’s case, enough to tie them together. Considering the nature of their relationship already they probably won’t feel a thing.”

“If they’re already in love then what difference does it make?” Jo, third best man and also radiant despite being long dead, asked.

“It’s a formality thing,” the cherub said, shrugging.

Sam rolled his eyes, “Angel politics, I swear…” and then he was cut off when Angel of the Morning began playing.

Castiel was walked up the aisle by Meg, who was wearing a new meat suit, what with her old one having rotten and all, first.

He smiled at all the best men and ignored the wink from Gabriel as he stopped in front of the cherub.

Castiel’s eyes shone brightly as Dean followed, walking next to Bobby, another stunner not letting death destroy his looks or disposition.

“We have gathered many of the characters through the seasons here today to bear witness to the bonding of Dean Winchester, hunter of evil, and Castiel, angel of the lord.  
This is the complete bonding of soul, grace and hearts.  
The bonding is ordered by Heaven, but those who know Dean and Castiel know that how it is in Heaven is not necessarily how it shall be on Earth.  
That’s how you know that when two so frustratingly strong-willed individuals accept being bonded, then they must already share a much profound bond.  
Now, if I may have the honor,” the cherub said.

Bobby handed him his bow and the arrow made special for the occasion. It was made of the _Dean_ and _Castiel_ arrows, melted together into one, the word _Destiel_ glimmering in golden letters in the shaft.

Castiel stepped in front of Dean, lining up their hearts perfectly.

They interlaced their hands together between them, the both of them smiling nervously.

The cherub pulled back the string of his bow, lifted to take aim and let the arrow fly.

The pink arrow pierced through the two of them and gasps were heard through the crowd.

A bright light shone between them, where the arrow connected them. It grew brighter as soul and grace laced together, and exploded in starry glitter as they snapped back into place.

Castiel turned around to face Dean. They met in a beautiful kiss that earned them applause and cheers from their friends and family (and a few enemies that had promised to be on their best behaviour if they wanted to witness the ceremony).

It lasted until the hunter stuck his tongue in the angel’s mouth and the angel’s hands grew comfortable on the hunter’s rear.

That prompted the guests to disperse to raid the buffet and catch up with people whom had been dead for a while.

All in all, they were all much too distracted to notice the happy couple sneaking off to consummate their bonding in the coat room.


End file.
